


When the Rain Falls We'll Say Our Goodbyes

by DionysusBlinded



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Angst and Feels, False Memories, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Memories, No Voltron Lions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27337519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DionysusBlinded/pseuds/DionysusBlinded
Summary: “There’s a storm coming.”“There is.”“I miss the rain.”“I know.”Lance studied Keith’s face. He stared until the edges of him became blurry. For a second he thought that he could hear faint crying coming off the wind, a voice like Keith’s whispering his name sadly. Lance rubbed his eyes roughly and when he opened them again the sounds were gone and Keith was back in focus.
Relationships: Acxa/Veronica (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	When the Rain Falls We'll Say Our Goodbyes

When Lance woke up nobody noticed. He first felt sad and lonely, then he didn’t care, this was something he was used to. He was alone anyway, who did he think would be here to notice him wake up? Looking around he was confused. He was in bed at home.  _ Home _ home. His childhood home. Almost everything was perfect. The sticky stars on his ceiling glowed weakly, his favorite stuffed animal on the bed next to him, pictures and old artworks lined the walls. Something about the room seemed distant and strange. He could hear crying and soft noises from disembodied voices, he could hear someone calling his name but couldn't see anyone in the room.

He flipped his blue rocketship blankets off and stood up. He had on his favorite pajamas. He smiled to himself thinking about all the nights he and his siblings had spent up building forts and playing pretend in their matching pajama sets.

He walked over to his dresser. Sitting on top in a handmade frame Lance found a photograph of him and his family. He examined his tiny face, bright eyes and a messy smile. He remembered that day well. It was a hot day in the middle of summer when his Ma and Papa decided to take them down to the beach for ice cream and play. The water had been warm enough that Lance and his siblings had run right in. They had built sandcastles and played pretend in the waves. They ran and laughed and sang and goofed off till the sun started to set.

He put the frame down and walked around his room, looking at all the faces. He passed picture after picture till he was standing next to his bed. Taped next to a  _ Voltron  _ poster on the wall Lance stared at a picture of him and his friends. The picture was of him and his friends at a  _ Voltron _ concert. Pidge was sitting on Hunk’s shoulders. Shiro was giving a very awkward thumbs up to the camera with his non-prosthetic hand. Allura’s face was close up in the corner of the photo. Lance had smeared pain on his cheeks. Right next to him, Keith had his arm over Lance’s shoulder. Standing in his room on the cold hardwood floors Lance could imagine the feel of the evening. Hearts racing, throats sore from screaming the lyrics. He could imagine Allura laughing and dancing to the beat, Pidge and Hunk bouncing up and down hyper on sodas and candy, Shiro watched them with a concerned expression. He could imagine the way his heart skipped a couple beats when Keith’s hands brushed against him.

A quiet knock snapped Lance out of his memories. In the doorway next to him stood a girl with white hair. Two crescent-shaped birthmarks rested on her cheekbones. Seeing her made Lance feel warm.

“Llura?” Lance smiled. He couldn’t explain it but the sight of her twisted his heart painfully, at the same time making him nostalgic. This feeling felt odd and distant to him, it was something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Like seeing a photo of a loved one too soon after they’re gone.

“Hi Lance,” she said with a warm smile that sent shivers up his spine. Without even realizing it, he’d moved across the room and was now standing right next to her. He embraced her. “How are you feeling?” she asked him.

He hadn’t noticed till she asked but there was a blooming pain in the back of his skull. “I’m fine.” Lance smiled, he had missed her so much, he didn’t want to ruin the moment with his pain. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been good. Lighter than air.” She smiled again. “Come one, we’ll be late if we don’t hurry.”

Allura and Lance walked into town. Outside the wind was chilly and to the North dark clouds were looming. A storm was coming.

Allura opened the door to the Breakfast Shack and Lance walked in. Lance was reminded of all the times he and his friends had gotten dinner late into the night here when they were in high school. Sitting in the corner booth, a group of young adults looked up from their conversation. Lance had caught a few words of their conversation like “car crash” and “bleeding”. He wondered what their conversation had been about.

“Lance!” Hunk, one of Lance’s oldest friends, jumped up from his seat and ran over. The two almost fell over from Hunk's power. Lance buried his face into Hunk’s shoulder, perfectly comfortable in the big guy's bear hug. Hunk smelt like flour and freshly baked cookies. Over hunk’s shoulder, Lance could see Pidge and Shiro stand up and start walking over. 

“Hey Pidge, hey Shiro,” he greeted them. Shiro grinned at him and ruffled up his hair in a fatherly way. Pidge stepped on Lance's toes and punched his arm playfully.

“Hey, loser. Nice eye bags, they’re almost as dark as mine.” Pidge pushed up their round Harry Potter glasses in the same way an anime villain would. Lance pushed Pidge’s head against his palm in an affectionate manner. Looking around Lance saw that someone was missing. Pidge noticed and said, “Don’t worry Loverboy, Keith will be here soon. I told him to stop and buy me a drink.”

“You can’t just get a chocolate milk here?” Lance and his friends walked back to the table.

“Nope.”

Shiro shrugged, looking at lance with a ‘what ya gonna do’ expression. With a sigh, Lance slid into the booth between Hunk and Allura. Three minutes later while his friends were looking at the menu, the door opened. The bell above the door chimed like a PA system and in walked Keith. His messy black hair was pulled back into a tiny ponytail, a grin played on his lips. When he got to the table, he placed a green energy drink in front of Pidge. Allura and Shiro stood, letting him slide into the booth next to Lance. Keith looked at him and slipped his fingers through Lance’s hair. Lance felt his cheeks get warm. He looked down at his hands resting on his thighs. He flinched when a pale hand clothed in fingerless gloves rested on top of his. Looking up he met two dark blue eyes. Keith was smiling at him.

“Hey,” he whispered in Lance’s ear. “I like your jammies.”

Lances laughed, Keith did too. Keith's breathy whisper had tickled Lance's ear. A familiar feeling flooded Lance’s body. He was happy. Happy to be sitting here with Keith. Happy to be sitting here with Hunk and Pidge and Shiro and Allura. He was happy when the waitress came to take their orders. He was happy while he sat and ate his cinnamon pancakes, scrambled eggs, and sausage. He was happy when they paid and when his friends all hugged him goodbye outside of the diner.

Everyone waved and turned down the street till only Keith was left standing next to Lance. The sun made Keith dark eyes look like tiny pools. Keith took Lance's hand and started walking toward the beach. “Come on,” he said “Let’s take a walk. Lance smiled and nodded. He walked with a little extra pep in his step as he and Keith made their way to the sand.

Together they walked down the waterline, they walked down the pier and got ice cream from Coran’s, and finally, they ended up on the docks. They sat with their feet dangling over the water. Lance swung his feet back and forth, contently watching the small fish darting under the greenish water. The sea salt air hit his nose aggressively in a way he was familiar with. Under the heavy smell of salt, Lance thought he could smell something sweet and unlike the beach. Along with the seagulls' songs, he thought he could hear the disembodied voices again.

“What are you thinking about?” Keith was looking at Lance, his head resting on the rough wood of the railings. “You’ve got your thinking face on.” He reached up for the second time to run his fingers through Lance’s hair. Lance tried to think of any other time Keith had done this. His mind came up blank.

“Nothing,” Lance replied. He looked up at the sky. “There’s a storm coming.”

“There is.”

“I miss the rain.”

“I know.”

Lance studies Keith’s face. He stared until the edges of him became blurry. For a second he thought that he could hear faint crying coming off the wind, a voice like Keith’s whispering his name sadly. Lance rubbed his eyes roughly and when he opened them again the sounds were gone and Keith was back in focus.

Keith kissed his thumb and stroked Lance’s cheek. “Ready to go home?”

“Maybe... It would be nice to rest here for a little while more. I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s almost time for you to go.” Keith seemed sad, which made Lance sad. This time it was him who ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. He let his hand rest on the back of the other boy’s neck. “I wish we could stay like this longer.”

When Lance and Keith returned home, Keith went into the kitchen. Lance made his way to the living room. He turned on the fireplace and gathered up some blankets from the hall closet. He sat down on the couch, spreading all three blankets out over himself. Using the remote, he turned on the TV, he scrolled through the movies. There weren’t many options but luckily enough, they all seemed to be favorites of his. He had a hard time choosing between the Titanic and Mamma Mia. Keith walked into the room as Mamma Mia began to play. He sat down next to Lance, now wearing pajamas and holding a plate of cookies. When had he found the time to make cookies? Lance snatched one as Keith slid under the blankets next to him. The cookies tasted like Lance’s childhood and all the good memories connected to his mother’s cooking. Keith rested his head on Lance’s shoulder. Lance tilted his head to be on top of Keith’s. He smelt like the beach and lavender.

Rain started to fall as Meryl Streep sang Dancing Queen.

Lance watched the windows and mumbled words to the songs as Keith rested against him. Keith was warm and felt familiar in the crook of his neck. The longer the movie went on, the softer Keith’s breathing got till he was snoring quietly. The quiet pitter-patter and Keith snoring made Lance’s heart flutter. Carefully, Lance stood up, propping a pillow under Keith in his place.

Outside Lance stood on the patio. The old wood was wet and cold under his bare feet. The air around him smelt fresh from the rain. Lance sat down on his Papa’s old rocking chair and watched the world go by. He brought his legs up, tucking his chin into his knees. He let his mind wander. He thought of the way the sun felt on his skin as he walked into town with Allura. He thought of the way Hunk and hugged him and the way he had smelled. He thought of the bags under Pidges eyes and Shiro’s smile when they said goodbye. They had all seemed so young and weightless today. It made Lance glad to think that all his friends were happy and doing well. He thought of the way the sand felt between his toes when Keith had brought him to the beach. Lance stood up and went inside. As he walked up the old, creaking steps of his family home he thought of his mother. He remembered her smile and how she always told him she’d love him no matter what. He remembered the way his Papa had hugged him when he came home from college after his first semester. 

At the top of the stairs, he walked slowly down the hallway, looking at all the faces and awkward family photos they’d taken over the years. He stopped by his little brother's room. From the bedside table, Lance picked up a little astronaut figurine Lance had bought from the Garrison gift shop. He put the figure down, walking out of the room. Next, he stopped by his sister's bedroom. He examined the pictures on her walls. Most of them were of her and her girlfriend Acxa. Lance noticed one of him pinned up on her memory board. The photo was taken the day he got back from a long time away. He was probably nineteen when the picture was taken. Six blurry figures were in the background. Lance could tell the blobs were his friends. Lance took a seat on his sister's bed. He played with her blanket and rested his head on her pillow. Goosebumps rose on his arms. Lance rubbed them. He didn’t get any warmer and they didn’t go away.

He wasn't sure how long he lied there. When he finally stood up he was sad. He wasn’t sure why. He’d lived a good life, a little bit of exhaustion wouldn’t change that.

He walked into his room. The blue paint was fading in some spots, the knit rug on his floor was well worn. His bed was still clothed in the same sheets he’d had since he was five. He walked to his closet and opened it up. He picked out a hanger and examined that jacket that hung from it. It was a green-brown color with orange stripes on the sleeves, a white hood hung off the back. Lance removed the jacket from the hook and put it on. The coat smelt slightly of bonfires. He didn’t remember when he got this jacket, he just knew it was important to him. He grabbed a pair of grey sneakers from the top shelf of his closet. Lance turned toward the door. Halting, he turned back around to kiss his stuffed animal on the head and grab the photo of him and his buddies at the  _ Voltron _ concert. He stuck the picture in his pocket, walking out the door.

Downstairs, Keith was still asleep on the couch. Lance sat down next to him, lifting Keith’s head to rest on his lap. The movie was over now. The only noise coming from the flames in the fireplace, soft snoring, and the rain outside. He watched the window again. Lance couldn’t remember the last time it had rained. “I wish I could stay here forever,” Lance whispered to himself.

Keith shifted on the couch. His eyes opened up to look at Lance. “Were you outside? Your hair is a little wet, right here.” Keith reached up to touch the other boy's bangs.

“Yeah, I was.”

“You love the rain.”

“I do. I love you too.” Lance looked down at Keith. Had he ever said that before? Keith smiled up at him. He didn’t say anything back. They sat in silence for a while.

Finally, Keith spoke. “Lance. We all care about you, no matter what. Shiro, Pidge, Hunk.. me. We all love you and wish you could stay. But we also understand,” Keith's voice sounded strange. The sad tone of his voice didn't match the happy gleam in his eyes. His words sounded as if they were traveling through water to get to him. “We understand that sometimes it’s hard to fight. So.. so it’s okay if you have to go.” Lance wondered where Keith thought he was going. He also wondered why Allura’s name wasn’t mentioned. Would she not miss him too? A sound like a chair scooting across the floor brought the pain in his head back. Somewhere he heard more crying and a door close.

“Comm’ere.” The other boy pulled Lance down till they were lying face to face. He grabbed Lance’s hands. “You’re getting colder… Lance, could we sit like this for a while?

“I could sit with you forever, Keith.”

“You could?”

“Yeah..” Lance let his eyes fall closed. “I would sit here with you in our pajama pants, holding hands forever and ever... We’re a good team.”

“We are. We’re a good team.”

“Mhmm…”

The last thing Lance heard before he faded into sleep was Keith's voice. “I’ll miss you while you’re asleep.

When Lance woke up the sun had set and the stars were twinkling outside. Keith was asleep beside him still. Lance stood up to use the restroom. After he took his shoes from their place by the door and slid them on. Once again he was out on the patio. This time he stood. He stretched out his hand, letting the rain fall into his palm. In the distance, he noticed a figure illuminated by the street lights. Eventually, the figure made her way up the front steps.

“Hey, Allura.”

“Hello, Lance.”

“Are you here to take me away?”

“That depends on you. Are you ready to go?”

Lance breathed in the cool night air. “No. Not really.” Tears began building up in his eyes. He did his best to blink them away. Lance looked down at his hands, his tan fingers intertwined. “I don’t wanna go yet.”

Allura was silent.

“I don’t want to leave but- but I don’t think I can go on. I want to be out there with our friends. I-” Lance faltered. He looked at Allura with wet eyes. “Am I allowed to stay here? Here everything is perfect here. Keith loves me, everyone looks happy, even you’re here. Allura, you're  _ here _ . I can’t get that out there.” Lance turned away, looking up at the night sky. Stars littered the sky’s black surface.

“I am here. You’re here too.”

“I’m here too…”

“But is this really what you want?” Allura stood facing Lance, her hands behind her back, her crystal eyes searching his face.

“Of course not. It’s not really perfect. It’s just my mind giving me what I want.” They stood in silence, watching the stars. “Can I go back?”

“Are You willing to fight?”

“I don't-” the tears Lance had been holding back finally began to fall. “I wish I could, I’m just so- I’m just so  _ tired _ , Allura.” He sunk to the floor, curling up, his arms wrapped around his knees.

“It’s okay Lance. You can go if you have to.” Allura squatted down next to him, sitting on her heels. “They’ll understand.”

“I just have one more question before I go.”

“What is it?” Allura stroked Lance’s head slowly.

“What will happen… What will happen to the others if I go now? Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Keith… what will happen to them?”

“They’ll go on. They’ll miss you every day as you missed me when I left. They’ll move through their lives with a piece missing. But they’ll be alright.”

“Oh, okay.” Lance stood, wiping tears from his cheeks. He looked back at the front door. He thought of Keith asleep on the couch. “I wish I could have loved him like that in real life. Actually, Allura- I have one more question.” Allura looked at Lance as if she already knew what he was going to ask. “Did the real Keith ever love me? Love me like the Keith in there loves me?”

“I’m sorry I can’t answer that for sure. I don’t know how Keith really felt about you. But, I can imagine that he did. Maybe not the love you’re looking for but you were his best friend.” She hugged him. “I’m sorry, Lance.”

Lance didn’t hug her back. There was no comfort in her touch. Together they walked down the steps of his childhood home.

As Allura led Lance down the path to town, Lance found himself wondering where his friends were. We're sitting at his bedside? We’re they at home, unaware of where he was? Were they in hospital beds of their own having similar visions? Lance couldn’t cry anymore so he followed Allura in silence.

Walking through the fog Lance saw flashes of his life.

He saw the day at the beach with his siblings.

He saw himself covered in flour, helping his mother make pies for Easter.

He saw his Papa leaning over his shoulder, pointing to something Lance had missed while helping him change the oil of his old truck.

He saw Veronica and Acxa wearing horrendous Christmas sweaters.

He saw Pidge and Hunk smiling and laughing at some dumb joke Lance had said.

He watched Keith at the  _ Voltron _ concert, jumping and moving to the music.

He watched Shiro smack him and Pidge with his prosthetic arm after Pidge had said some dirty joke into the PA system at Walmart.

He watched himself and Allura swaying back and forth awkwardly at Junior Prom.

He saw the time he and his friends went to the zoo to see the new lion exhibit. The same day Keith had bought Lance the stuffed animal that now sat on his bed.

Then he thought of today, this wonderful, happy day that he had created in his mind. The rain and breakfast at the Breakfast shack, walking on the sand with Keith. Snuggling up in front of the fireplace and watching his favorite movie.

He thought of Hunk who loves to bake and hug his friends. And of Pidge who would always steal and reprogram Lance’s electronics, laughing when he couldn’t figure out what was wrong with them. Allura and her fancy accent, making fun of Lance’s ears and how he got them pierced when he was eight. He thought of Shiro always taking care of him when he was sad, making him hot chocolate. He thought of Keith and his dumb fingerless gloves and smile that could always make Lance’s heart skip five beats when it was directed at him.

When he and Allura reached the beach a slight ringing started in Lance’s ears. He laughed to himself, thinking about all the times he had yelled at the TV screen during movie night saying how it was unrealistic that you’d hear a ringing when your time came. Apparently Hollywood could get something right after all. Lance turned his head to say something to Allura but she was gone. Lance faced forward. For once he didn’t mind being alone. He knew he was loved and that he had loved well.

Lance was smiling when he stepped into the ocean.

Rain fell silently outside the hospital. The world was still moving when four friends said their goodbyes.

**Author's Note:**

> the times when lance though he could hear crying or voices/ smells something, that was his subconscious being slightly aware of what was going on outside of his head.
> 
> i wrote this at 1 am when i was sad so.. hope you enjoyed


End file.
